Bye Blogger.

This blog is going bye bye.

I'm moving my blog to JordonWright.com!

Don't you?

Don't you dislike when someone you love and care about doesn't believe in themselves, when they have so much potential?

Don't you dislike when people you've never met claim you're a bad influence on someone who you've done nothing but encourage and help through the pain their family has caused them?

Don't you dislike when people you've hardly met make no effort to get to know you but then trash you behind your back with falsehoods?

Don't you dislike seeing people talk a lot about how humble and good they are, when the fact they emphasize those supposed two qualities exposes they're really not that humble and/or good?

Don't you dislike when churches talk a lot of homosexuality and abortion, and not enough time on the streets meeting people where they are and trying to help those who need help?

Don't you dislike a generation of consumers and materialistic people (I'm just as guilty) who complain if they're $5 meal price is increased, when most of the world lives on half of that a day?

Don't you dislike the fact that churches are supposed to be all about the love of Christ, and yet the preachers use the pulpit as a vehicle to air their issues with people or to give their opinions?

Don't you dislike people who are flawed and act as if they're not?

Don't you dislike people who don't seem to think they're sinners? I'd rather be in a group full of people who know they're sinners, than people who pretend they're not.

Don't you dislike when Christians create their own little bubbles where they home school their kids, make their families hang out with only Christians (great evangelism) and who judge the world from their self-made thrones of self-righteousness?

Don't you dislike when people would rather stab you in the back, instead of stabbing you in the front?

Don't you dislike when people don't treat others how they want to be treated, and then preach to others that they should?

Don't you? I know I do.

Lessons Learned.

2011 has been.....interesting.

2010 was pretty much a bust. 2009 was a waste of life. But this year was different. I put my priorities to the front of my mind and had more focus on the things that mattered. Like I said, this year was different. A good kind of different. I've done my best to try to "plan" 2012, but I know I couldn't predict it if I tried. But I'm not going into the year without some of the same focus that I've given this year.

So lessons learned in 2011:

1. You really can't change people- Frustration with some of my relationships this year has left me trying to change some people. We don't have the ability to change anyone but ourselves. I've tried to motivate some to confront their insecurities and it hasn't fallen on deaf ears. But sometimes it's irritating seeing someone with so much potential not realize that fact. In other situations, I've had people I thought I could talk to and confront issues with. They simply wouldn't listen and it went no where. Certainly I'm not perfect, so I've learned to focus on my own flaws and short comings--and let others deal with theirs. I'll help them as best as I know how to.

2. Religious people are nuts- I've read enough Christian books, watched enough Christian television and met enough Christian people this year to observe the differences between them. Some are conservative, some are liberal. Some are Baptist, Assemblies of God and Catholic. Some are the 'real deals' and some are....nuts. About a week ago in anger, I messaged one of my Christian friends on Facebook to rant. "I really don't like some Christians and I know that's wrong," I told him.  We had a decent conversation on the lack of authenticity of the Christian community, the need for some to elevate themselves up to act holier than others. It just smells funny because it is funny. I read Romans 3 about how we all fall short of God and I realize I have a lot of work to do for myself. Certainly I see others errors (or sawdust in eyes as Matthew puts it) but I try to focus on my own (the plank in my own eye, how hypocritical".  It just rubs me the wrong way to see Christians who should be engaging a culture that is abandoning their faith in droves who are instead trying to be the loudest in the room, the holiest in the room and trying to prove how spiritual they are. It's not a popularity contest, Jesus already won. Shake off the fake, the holier than thou attitudes, the pride and let's get to business. Let's have some humility to accept our own shortcomings (not everyone elses, OUR own) and focus on the one thing that should matter--Christ.

3. College isn't the answer- It really isn't. I'm not one of those who thinks that by going to college, my situation will be fixed. I know this is the (very expensive) first step in getting where I want to be. I'm willing to put in the work and prove myself. But the motivation and focus I've had in 2011, if I can make this last moving forward, I'm really excited about finishing school and starting my career. What career you may ask? Wait and see.....

4. It's not what you have, it's who you are- I used to be pretty image based. If I had one glaring insecurity, it was my appearance. I didn't like how I looked. Confronting that head on, I just don't focus on it as much. Call it another change of focus this year but it just....doesn't matter. I think it's time I worried less on my image and more on the things that matter--character. If anything was lacking in the last few years, it was character. It helps having someone like Joel here who reminds me how different (in a better way) I am since he first met me in early 2010.

5. God is good- I don't need to explain this one.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who reads this. Minus maybe my mother.

In any event, these are some of the lessons I've learned this year. It helps writing them out.

2012, here we come.

Fall.

Summer wasn't as successful as I hoped.

But Fall is here. 

So far, so good. I'm back in the full swing of classes and trying to finish 2011 strong. 

What's going on with me this Fall?

Things I'm doing-

Working on my classes. Which means lots and lots of homework. Some how I managed to schedule a math class and english class this semester. So Joel gets to hear me yell at the computer a lot. On top of that, I've been studying a lot. Not just school but in other subjects. Which has meant a lot of reading. Like I said on my Facebook, I've done more reading in the last six months than the rest of my life combined. Trying to find a different church closer to our apartment. Also, I'm trying to find a good job. I'm tired of less than desirable jobs, so we'll see what happens. The economy stinks.....so maybe I'll have to settle, eh?

Things I'm working on-

I'm trying to finalize my plans for the last two years of college. I've narrowed my list to three colleges but with how indecisive I am, we'll see. I'm working on my plans for 2012 and what I'd like to call my 5-year and 10-year plans. Apparently that's contagious, I've got Joel doing the same thing. I'm trying to improve my grades after a lackluster Summer semester. To be determined. 

Music I'm listening to-

I downloaded No Doubt's greatest hits, so lots of that. Florence and the Machine, Adele, Jesus Culture, Elevation Worship, Death Cab For Cutie, Sufjan Stevens and Amy Winehouse.

What I'm watching- 

Pretty much what I normally watch. Restaurant Impossible, Chopped, Diners Drive-Ins and Dives, and pretty much anything on Food Network. American Dad, Family Guy, Seinfeld re-runs, Law and Order SVU and really bad Christian television. Which makes Joel laugh. 

Books I'm reading- 

My math textbook and english textbooks. Unfortunately, that takes up a lot of time. Last month I read "Erasing Hell" and "Forgotten God" both by Francis Chan, as well as"Systematic Theology" by Wayne Grudem. This month I'm reading my textbooks (of course), "Ashamed of the Gospel" by John MacArthur and "Systematic Theology" still. Of course my Bible and when I start my worlds religion class later this semester, you can add on that textbook.

Things I'm looking forward to-

Finalizing my short term plans, rough drafts of my long term plans, deciding on colleges, working on "career advancement", Halloween, Thanksgiving, Starbucks mochas, and Fall walks.

I'm sure you're wondering why I'm telling you all of this.

To be honest, not really sure. Maybe I'm bored, maybe I'm thinking out loud.

But that's my Fall. Enjoy yours.

Seasons of Doubt

If we're honest, we doubt.

We doubt our own abilities. We doubt our circumstances will improve. We doubt we'll be able to accomplish something we grasp for. And we doubt our own faith.

I just overcame a season of doubt.

Where I questioned myself and everything I thought I knew. Was this really reality? Or was my mind playing tricks on me?

Death Cab For Cutie happens to be one of my favorite bands. And when they released their new album, one song stuck out to me. It starts out slow and builds till the chilling end, building momentum as the song grows and grows. I love the song. I'm intimidated by the song. It scares me and challenges me.

Inside of it's simplicity is so much complexity. Questions of doubt about the very faith that holds my life together.

I'm not intimidated by the likes of Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins. They're as hypocritical as fundamentalist atheists as some of the fundamentalist "Christians." I don't blink an eye to documentaries like Bill Mahers, where he tries to turn my faith into a big joke. I don't even care that I have family members that are atheists and other faiths that would challenge my belief system. Obviously I care for them and wish for peace in their own hearts but I don't mind if they make the choice to have faith that challenges mine.

It's not in any of those circumstances that I feel uncomfortable or uncertain. It's in a song--this song. The build towards the end of the 4:31 song drives out questions in my heart I didn't realize I had. The emotions of the whole thing make me question everything I thought I knew. Questions I'm not sure books like Lee Strobel's "Case for Christ" or "Case for Faith" could ever answer--I know because I've read them.

Maybe I won't know the answers to those questions this side of eternity. 

I've learned to be okay with that.

I have my doubts. And I most certainly have my seasons of doubts.

And while I don't blindly accept my belief system because it's popular or convenient, I give those things up to the God of my faith--trusting that I'll get answers inside of his time frame.

In the age of "prove it right here, right now" I'm putting my faith into something I can't see but I surely can feel. Am I stupid? Maybe some would think so. Misguided? That might be your opinion.

Jesus said in John 8:32 that we will know the truth, "and the truth will set you free."

"If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair." - C.S. Lewis

Despite the doubts, the questions, the tension--the quest for truth always leads back to one place. And that's where I'll continue to find my comfort. 

AFA: Cigarettes just as danger as homosexuality. Really?

(Based on Bryan Fischers article:  http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/fischer/101209)

I stumbled upon Bryan Fischers column when I was reading some statistics on a website. From first glance, it seems like just another anti-gay opinion piece from another conservative talk show host. But the suggestion that Mr. Fischer makes is quite serious. In fact, it's absolutely serious. He uses the surgeon general's report on one cigarette possibly being deadly to suggest one act of homosexual sex possibly being deadly.

His case? If you have gay sex, you could get HIV--even if you only do it once. In case Bryan doesn't realize it, (and I'm sure he does) not everyone who engages in homosexual "conduct" is HIV-positive. Actually quite the opposite. Most of those engaging in homosexuality do NOT have HIV. To suggest they do is misleading and dangerous. It's a horrible stereotype that has long plagued gay individuals.

I didn't know of a single HIV-positive gay person until I was 22 years old. For those of us who knew him, it was sobering to think about. For Bryan Fischer's personal knowledge, this person I knew with HIV wasn't exactly going on his first exposure to gay sex. He was, shall we say, kind of a whore. Not that that makes it any less sad or deadly. The fact still remains that comparing the dangers of cigarettes to  gay sex is kind of a stretch. No, scratch that. It's not kind of a stretch--it's a stretch and then some.

Does Bryan not realize that most gay people, like straight people, use condoms? Did Bryan consider the fact that straight people could easily get HIV if they have unprotected sex? I'm assuming he's going with the stereotype that gay people have higher rates of HIV/AIDS. For some black individuals, that stereotype is in place as well. Is he going to claim black people shouldn't engage in sex? Perhaps Bryan didn't think about the fact that many gay people don't even have sex. Seriously....I've known several of them. Some for religious purposes, others for tradition reasons.

He goes onto say:

We currently have between two and four percent of the population engaging in gay sex. How about we ask the surgeon general to launch a crusade to reduce the gay sex rate from four percent to one percent by 2020? 

Source: http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/fischer/101209 

I don't know what I'm more troubled by. The fact that this misguided conservative thinks gay sex is comparable to smoking or the fact he used the word 'crusade' in asking the surgeon general to help eliminate gay sex. The fact remains...if misused, sex is like anything else. It becomes dangerous. Gay or straight.

If Bryan Fischer wants to go on a "crusade" against sex, why not teen sex? Look at these stats:

• In 2009, 46% of high school students had sexual intercourse and 13.8% had four or more sex partners during their life.  Prior to the sexual activity, 21.6% drank alcohol or used drugs.  Only 38.9% used a condom.
  CDC
• In 2009, 34% of currently sexually active high school students did not use a condom during their last sexual intercourse.
  CDC
• In 2006, an estimated 5,259 young people (ages 13-24) were diagnosed with HIV/AIDS.
  CDC
• Each year, approximately 19 million new STD infections occur, and almost half of them are among youth ages 15-24. 

•  Source: http://www.sadd.org/stats.htm 

Unwanted pregnancies, abortions, STD's, porn, etc. Teenagers are being exposed to a lot of stuff at earlier and earlier ages. I would think if Bryan wanted to go after anything, it would be educating our kids about the dangers of misusing sex. Whether one believes in homosexuality or not is irrelevant. To lie, mislead and make inaccurate statements about gay people isn't going to gain his friends at the American Family Association any ground.

I remember a year or so ago, I had a great debate with a Christian rapper from New York about homosexuality. He said it was a sin and wrong, I said it wasn't. One of the things we battled over was the dangers of homosexual sex. It was a respectful debate and I thoroughly enjoyed it. My point is at the end of the debate, he offered to pray for me. He didn't say anything misleading or false. His intentions were genuine and I appreciated that. Even if I didn't agree with him, I respected his position.

How can you respect what Bryan Fischer claims?

Comparing the possibility of getting lung cancer from one cigarette and the possibility of HIV with one session of gay sex doesn't really cut it. It's insulting. If Bryan wants a debate on homosexuality, I know there are plenty of people waiting to debate him. But beginning with falsehoods and dangerous assertions isn't really the best approach.

In closing, I had a grand father who died of lung cancer. He was a smoker and he died a very slow, painful death. While the surgeon general suggested it's a possibility to die from one cigarette, that doesn't mean it's a strong personality. But if you misuse them your chances increase. The same thing could be said about sex. You misuse it, you pay the price. Or food. How many Americans have diabetes? Obesity?

My hope going forward is that people stop these silly arguments that aren't worth the paper they're written on. If you want an honest conversation, let's have it. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. If you're wrong, you're wrong. One of us WILL be wrong, the other WILL be right. But let's keep it honest.

Wheres my map?

I don't like taking directions from people.

Sometimes I let criticism get under my skin or I won't accept a rebuke. I guess to a degree, that's human nature. We don't like to hear what we're doing wrong and even some of the best advice we'll ignore. But I'm beginning to understand that it's necessary to listen to others, even when it might be uncomfortable for you.

I really don't know it all. I really do make mistakes. And if someone else can help, let them. Recently, I was given some advice I didn't want to hear. At first, I simply ignored it. But after a while I realized it was sound advice and the person was giving me wise counsel, so I finally accepted what they were saying.

Guess what? They were right, I was wrong.

If I would of listened to my gut, I would have egg on my face. I'd look like a major idiot and I'd try to quickly sweep it under the rug and hope no body noticed. Instead they slapped some sense into me, showed me what the right way was and I was put in my place. It kind of sucked, it was very uncomfortable for me.

But I'd rather have honest friends and wise counsel than going with my gut all the time (even when I'm wrong) and people around me who are nothing but yes-men who tell me what I want to hear.

I can take criticism. I can accept a rebuke. I'll listen to advice. And I'll certainly accept when I'm wrong. Does that mean I'm perfect at it? Fair from it.

But I'll continue to follow my map for my life and if I take a wrong turn, I hope some body is there to guide me in the right direction.

"The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice." - Proverbs 12:15

Favorites

I think we all have our favorite stuff.

Today our cable and internet went out. It kind of felt like I was living in 1939, with nothing really to do. So I thought a lot about my favorite stuff. And came up with these lists:

Favorite Movies-
5. Batman Returns
4. Bobby
3. The Passion of the Christ
2. O Brother Where Art Thou
1. Requiem for a Dream

Favorite Songs-
5. Brothers on a Hotel Bed- Death Cab for Cutie
4. Aftermath- Hillsong United
3. The Man Comes Around- Johnny Cash
2. All The Trees Of The Field Will Clap Their Hands- Sufjan Stevens
1. Bridge Over Troubled Waters- Simon and Garfunkel

Favorite Quotes-
5. "If you haven't found something worth dying for, you aren't fit to be living." - Martin Luther King Jr.
4. "Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world which yields most painfully to change." - Robert F. Kennedy
3. “It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope.” - Robert F. Kennedy 
2. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” - Reinhold Niebuhr
1. "Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God." - Aeschylus 

Favorite People-
5. Will Ferrell
4. Johnny Cash
3. C.S. Lewis
2. Robert F. Kennedy
1. Jesus Christ

Favorite Foods-
5. Chicken fried steak
4. Fried okra (I'm like Paula Deen, fry it and I'll eat it)
3. Lasagna
2. Anything fast food (Just ask Joel)
1. Cashew chicken

Favorite Memories-
5. Summers with my grandparents
4. Graduating high school
3. Moving out
2. Baptism
1. Entering college

Favorite Things-
5. Coca-Cola
4. Bible my grandmother gave me at 13
3. Facebook
2. Macbook
1. My bed

Favorite Qualities of Myself-
5. Passionate
4. Caring
3. Sense of humor
2. Love to learn

1. Love helping people

23-years-young

The title may not make sense.

But tomorrow is my birthday and I don't really like when people say "__-years-old" when talking about peoples ages. Not a big fan of the word 'old' in general. You should of seen me when I turned 21 and I thought it was the end of my world. Joel likes to laugh at the fact that at 22, I'm already talking about the fact in a few years I'll be 30. 

Usually I dread birthdays. I don't like getting older. I would miss the good old days when I was a kid who watched cartoons on television, played games outside with my brothers and sister and whose  only worry in the world was whether mom would give me a dollar for a soda at school. Truthfully, I always dreaded getting older because I always hated taking risks and doing things to further my life.

I let my insecurities get in the way of growth and so every year on my birthday, I'd look back at the previous year and think of the time I wasted. While I'm most certainly going to reflect this year (what I did right, what I did wrong), I'm going to focus less on the lack of growth this year (because I felt I did grow) and focus more on what I can do this year.

This year has been very good to me. Evidence?

1. I finally entered into college. I did that last fall, right after my last birthday. 

2. Gained some new friends, lost some old friends. Basically I made the big decision that some people weren't really my friends, despite what they told me. They were really bringing me down and making it harder for me to grow personally. In addition, I added some awesome people. Joel increasingly became my best friend and I'm thankful for that.

3. I turned some bad situations into good situations. My mother and I got into a fight that would cost us three months apart from one another. In that time, I realized that loved ones were worth more than silly fights. I also forgave a family member despite the fact they continue to trash me and my loved ones, which lifted a heavy burden and helped me to move on from the situation while still loving them.

4. Worked on my future. College was definitely a part of that. But I spent many months thinking about my future and where I wanted to be in 5-years, 10-years, and so on. I didn't really plan much for the future in the past because I didn't really believe I could follow through with anything. Things change....

5. I became a Christian. Found a church, got baptized, began reading through the Bible daily, and I can say I finally found a taste of the relationship with God that my grandparents had before their death--something I longed for.

Today, I'm 22-years-young.

Tomorrow I'll be 23-years-old. Yes, I said it the right way this time. I'll be another year older and this year will surely be filled with my share of up's and down's. But I look forward to this year and I don't dread it at all. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Us vs. Them Pt. Two

"It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God." - Acts 15:19

Before I was a Christian, I was convinced of one thing. That I never really had a problem with God. My problem was mainly with Christians and I didn't think I could ever over come that. So I resisted God and church just wasn't for me. When I was in my late teens, I was some what of an aggressive atheist. It wasn't because I thought God didn't exist. It's because I didn't want him to exist.

If he existed, I thought the Christians were right. And if they were right, the world was a bad place. For better or worse, that's just what I believed. And I believed that because I felt like Christians were judgmental, arrogant, prideful, self-righteous, bigoted, ignorant, and very fake. To make things worse, I felt like they turned their religion into a castle. And that castle didn't have a bridge. If you wanted inside, you had to say all the right things and do all the right things to get in.

I remember when I was 21 years old and my grand parents had died a few months before. They were devout Christians and my only church experiences were with them. So after their deaths, I had many questions about God and the Bible. So I was invited to a church by a friend. I was so excited to go but as soon as I went there, I felt more uncomfortable than ever. It's like everything I felt about churches and Christianity was confirmed and suddenly the passion God was trying to give me was gone.

Fast forward to 2011, I've found God in my life and that passion I was searching for. I'm so thankful for that. It's been an awesome experience for me. The other day Joel wrote me a note before work that just said he was proud of my relationship with God. That meant a lot coming from someone like Joel, whose opinion I cherish. One of the benefits of becoming a Christian is joining a church that doesn't feel fake or forced. It doesn't feel us vs. them. They don't turn the pulpit or their influence into an opportunity to air their personal feelings, political views or opinions. One day recently, I listened to a pod cast of a pastor complaining about the fact that their ministry work wasn't appreciated or what they expected. They said "I'm not bitter" at least three or four times in the pod cast and each time it felt quite the opposite--they were bitter.

I'm not a great Christian or a great person. But I'm not going to sit here and pretend I am. I'm not going to build myself up, while tearing others down. I'm not going to sit on my throne and be holier than thou at the expense of others. Because I know I'm not better or holier.

As God as my witness, I don't want to make my life about "us vs. them". I don't want to pretend I love people or act phony. I want to be genuine and loving--always. I want to treat everyone with that same respect, whether they're Christian or not. Whether I agree with them or not. Just, please, don't let it be fake. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm frustrated by the Christians who kept me away for so long and encouraged by the Christians who are getting the picture that they're too blame for the fact that many people are feeling pushed away and/or running away from God and church as fast as they can.

Stop the pride. Stop the self-righteous attitudes. Stop acting holier than thou. Stop acting like your sin is less than any others. Stop using your influence for all the wrong reasons. And stop pushing people away who need God desperately, like I did. 

Evolves from North Point Church on Vimeo.

- Video from North Point Church, northpointchurch.tv

Forgiving When It's Hard

It was nearly three years ago when I last talked to a particular loved one in question.

We didn't leave the situation in good terms. In fact, we left the situation (and our relationship) in down right bad terms. Nothing was being accomplished but name calling, back and forth comments and a whole lot of anger lashed out towards one another. It simply wasn't going anywhere.

When I spoke out, I some what expected this result. My family member in question spent all my youth talking down to others, responding in ignorance and hatred. They were racist, sexist, homophobic. You pick your poison, they spewed it. I don't say that to gossip about them (like they have about me) but simply to tell it how it was.

I came of age and left my parents house. At that moment, I gained the opportunity to speak for myself and to stand up to this person. So I did--and I certainly don't regret it. I watched as my mother put on weight and this family member trashed her, calling her fat in the most vicious of terms. Today I see my mother desperately trying to lose weight, as if she needs to. My mother is a beautiful person and no amount of weight she were to drop would change that. Sure she has her flaws and she's not perfect, sometimes I struggle to get a long with her.

But she's my mother and I see things in her that I'm not sure she sees in herself. Most of the times we fight it's discouragement on my part that our relationship isn't going the way I hoped and fear we'd end up as toxic as this relative in our relationship. And I certainly don't ever want that for me or my mother--or any of my family.

I'm not perfect either. Never have been, never will be. I've made plenty of mistakes, as many could point out. In this very situation, I responded to my hate-filled relative with hate as well. In plain terms, I was hypocritical at times. I man up and own it. I won't point fingers, I won't pretend otherwise. Wouldn't change the facts of the matter if I did.

But what I am proud of is standing up for myself. Standing up for my mother, who was trashed and thrown under the bus by him and others in her family. And I'm proud of standing up against hatred (sexism, homophobia, racism, etc.) to say, "you can't say that about people."

People have identity, meaning, value and worth. They have families and friends, hopes and dreams. They deserve the respect to pursue happiness in their own lives, just like everyone else. No one is inferior based on their gender, sexual preference or race. We're all equal, none less or greater than another. If we'd stop to think about that, maybe we'd live differently.

We'd show more compassion, empathy, mercy, grace and love. We'd be more willing to help the needy, comfort the hurting, and build up others around us.

It's hard to forgive others when they hurt you. When they hurt others you love and care about. But it's necessary. You can't continue to respond to their harsh words with more harsh words. You can't let them damage your soul anymore, as you'll only respond trying to damage theirs right back.

The only choice you have is:
1. Forgive them
2. Forgive yourself
3. Seek forgiveness from God
4. Respond to others with love, empathy, compassion, mercy and grace.
5. Learn what hatred, fear and anger can do. And remember that lesson to always put yourself in other peoples shoes.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32

Springfield doesn't suck.

Springfield doesn't suck.

It's certainly not for everyone--but it doesn't suck. Lately I've noticed a growing trend of people complaining and groaning about this town. As with any town, Springfield isn't perfect. It's a lot of things but perfect is definitely not one of them.

I don't really like the close minded attitudes of this area sometimes.  The roads kind of suck. The drivers are really inconsistent and...bad. What's with the weird mayor? Why don't we have a Cheesecake Factory? And is the Battlefield Mall really the best we can get here?

But I look past all that because in all honesty, does that really matter? If I want Cheesecake Factory, I'll travel. Plus my hips would be bigger if we did have one. The mall isn't a biggie, I'll just hit up Branson or go upstate. I don't really have to look at the mayor all the time, so who cares if he's weird? As far as the roads and bad drivers, if they didn't exist--what would I complain about?

You see, Springfield doesn't suck. It's not the best, it's not the worst. It's got a lot of pro's and some con's as well. Some days I'm happy to call this my home, other days I want to leave this town and (at least in the moment) never come back. But for me, it's home. It doesn't suck.

So do I get defensive when people say it sucks? Yeah, I do.

And here is why:

1. It's too big to be a hicktown, too small to be....St. Louis or Kansas City- In other words, it has enough NASCAR dads at Walmart decked out in overalls, cowboy boots and a world class mullet, to quench my thirst for laughter in public. It has enough normal people to mingle with and be friends with, without being oversized like KC and St. Louis where you'd miss the gems that we call Ozarks hillbillies. So our claim to fame is: We're not Kansas City but we're not Branson either! Sweet!

2. I like my food, I like my food a lot- I've never met a person outside of Springfield who's came here and liked Mexican Villa. But like a lot of people around here, I grew up on it. I could eat their chips by the bucket full and live on their burrito enchilada style. What would I do with out Andy's? The answer: I'd die! Or Springfield Cashew Chicken. Where else are you going to turn chinese food into half-chinese, half-southern cooking?

3. Churches....everywhere- I've been to other states but I've never seen this many churches in such a tiny landscape. You could say we have almost more churches than we do minorities. (Shameless plug for North Point Church, which is the coolest church in the area).

4. Other stuff- Movie theaters, Kickapoo High School where I spent four years and Brad Pitt attended, colleges, bowling alleys, flea markets, thrift stores, fast food on every street corner, lots of parks, the Nature Center, the zoo, the Fairgrounds, tons of restaurants, lots of call centers, chinese buffets, Bass Pro Shop, more Republicans than I care to meet, the list goes on and on. Springfield is a unique place.

Actually.....a lot of places have similar options. But shut up and stop complaining!

Springfield doesn't suck.

Life Matters.

The Casey Anthony case has intrigued me.

I'm sure it's intrigued a lot of people. How a mother of a lovely little girl could kill their daughter simply because they didn't want the responsibility anymore is beyond me. Like everyone else, I want justice for that poor little girl. Every time they show her face on television, it breaks my heart to think the person who should of loved her the most, treated her the worst.

But in the process of the media spectacle of the trial, I'm reminded how fragile life truly is. One minute you're breathing, the next you could be gone. The moment you take the last breath, you're the sum of all your decisions here on earth. That poor little girl didn't have a chance to build a life for herself. She didn't get a chance to laugh and cry and grow and learn. Her own mother murdered her.

In doing so, her mother took her own child's life and shattered the lives of her family. Not only is that the case but she ruined her own life. Simply put, she made the worst possible decision. And now she'll most likely spend the rest of her life in jail, if she isn't put to death because of her despicable act. Casey Anthony didn't respect her life or the life of others.

Now that little girl is only remembered to us in photographs, to her family in memories. Casey Anthony will never have a chance to raise a child or turn her life around and do something great with her God-given potential. Life is fragile.

That's something I've confronted in my own life. When my grand parents died in 2009, it brought issues to the surface I was never faced with. Some day I'll die from this earth and when I do I'll be the sum of all of my decisions. Good or bad, wrong or right. I'll be accountable to my actions and I won't have the excuse of little Caylee Anthony--I had the chance to turn things around, I had a life to make something of. 

I don't want to waste my life. Don't want to waste my God-given potential. Don't want to focus on a life of chasing things that don't really matter while missing out on all the things that really should matter. I have a chance that individuals like Caylee never had. My life is fragile but I'm still here.

I'm so thankful for a renewed spirit, I'm motivated by the potential I have, I'm comforted that I don't have to do life alone anymore. I don't want to waste my life. I don't want my fragile life to come to end and realize I'm no better than Casey Anthony (who wasted her potential) or no more accomplished than Caylee Anthony (who didn't even have a chance to accomplish).

Today I was baptized. I'm confident my grand parents were celebrating some where far away from here but not distant from my heart. I'm thankful my best friend and my family were there to celebrate with me. And my heart is ripped apart by a God who is so loving and merciful, that would give second chances to the undeserving like me. 

Life matters. God, help me to not waste it. 

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day, everyone.

Especially to:
1. My Father- Even though I doubt he'll read this, thank you for every thing you do. Spent the whole day today with him and my family. He's been begging my mom to make him a lemon jello cake, so I decided to surprise him and make one. Glad it turned out well. I like cooking but I'm certainly no Paula Deen.

2. All other Fathers- So many kids don't have fathers. Others have fathers but they may as well say they don't because their fathers don't man up. A big thank you to all the fathers who show their sons and daughters love. The world would be a much different place without all the dad's out there--and it certainly wouldn't be a better world. So...thank you, dad's!

3. Our Heavenly Father- Hey, he's a Father too. Thank you, God. For everything you've done for me and for the unconditional love you show us all. A perfect example for all fathers and aspiring fathers! :)

Okay, this wasn't much of a blog.

Happy Fathers Day!

Sleepwalker.

Socrates taught that we shouldn't rush through our lives focusing on things that didn't really matter. He believed we sort of "sleepwalk" our way through life sometimes and we should always strive to reflect on what's really important. Instead of getting lost in an increasingly busy culture, we should stop to reflect on deeper issues like "who am I?" and "what is my purpose in life?" That our philosophical world view should always be improving our souls.

I think about that for myself. I spend a lot of time distracted in a maze of social networking, entertainment, and pop culture. I put a lot of emphasis on things that don't really matter and I won't care about in ten years. Why don't I focus more on myself? Why don't I live up to my full potential? It's a constant struggle of priorities.

So what's the point of my blog? Don't waste your life. It's too important to waste. Second of all, what do you want to be remembered by? You watched TV and spend ten hours on Facebook, like everyone else. You chased wealth, health, status....like everybody else. Or do you want to build a personal legacy? A reputation? Chase goals and dreams? Create memories, a lasting impression, devotion to others, the list goes on and on.

My mother said something one day. She said that we won't look back at the end of our lives saying "I wish I worked more" but instead we'll say, "I wish I had spent more time with my family." It's a nice thought and probably true. But do we really want to look back at the end of our lives and say, "I wish I would have watched more TV, focused more on sports, more on making more money and being well liked and well known." Or will we say, "I wish I wouldn't of let fear stop me from taking that risk, I wish I would have gotten off the couch to play with my kids more, I wish I had a career that made me happy instead of rich, I wish I had focused more on my relationships instead of shuffling through all my days without purpose."

You've probably read the book Tuesdays with Morrie, right? I watched the made-for-TV movie when I was a kid and read the book for my "Psychology of Personal Adjustment" class last semester. Sure, Morrie can be kind of cheesy and corny at times. But through all the Dr. Phil-esque quotes, you can find a few gems. One of them is, "So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things."

We focus on things that don't matter--and certainly won't matter at the end of our lives. We waste our lives. And I'm not singling anyone out, we all do it to a degree. But what depresses me is thinking about how much of my life I've wasted after moving out of my parents house in my late-teens. I've wasted away the last four or five years doing things that didn't matter. Spending money, devoting time, giving energy....and for what? I have nothing to show for it.

If I died tomorrow, I would be an extremely unaccomplished person. There would be grudges I never settled, lives I didn't touch, people I mistreated, situations I avoided and dreams I never chased. One of the rewarding aspects of this past year is realizing I've had my priorities out of whack and trying my best to ponder the deep questions Socrates argues we should all ponder. 

I ponder those questions. Because I don't want to waste my life. I don't want to be half-asleep at the wheel and I don't want to sleepwalk aimlessly through my days holding onto security and certainty, while avoiding the conflict of purpose and potential. 

So, I ponder those questions. And I look to God for answers. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Blogs suck.

Blogs suck. They really, really do. It's a bunch of people talking about their lives, while stroking their egos. I'm certainly not immune from that. I try my best to just write on topic's that interest me but sometimes I come off as arrogant, self righteous, and like a know-it-all. Half of the blogs I write are never published and some of them I've wrote, (and maybe you've read) I've later deleted because I re-read them and didn't like the tone.

Sharing opinions and views are okay. But sometimes reading blogs makes you want to punch a wall or yell in an empty field. One of the worst things I've done is read some of the religious blogs. In particular, there is one I read that drives me insane. They'll prescribe the problem they see and offer a solution. But the whole thing reeks of pride, even when talking about humility. It reeks of self righteous religiosity and arrogant holier-than-thou circle jerks. Pardon my language, perfect bloggers.

It just rubs me the wrong way reading a blog about humility and admitting fault when it's filled with "I'm great because ____" and so many "I's", your head will spin. And it's not just religious blogs. I was reading another blog about a topic that interests me. The author made every attempt to provoke readers and gain attention. Are we that self-absorbed we'll use our blogs to play "Look at me! Look at me!" with our writing?

Sometimes I read other peoples blogs and it makes me never want to blog again because I'm afraid people will see me in the same light. Sometimes I read my OWN blogs and see myself in the same light. So what's the point of this blog? I'm not sure. Frustration, pet peeves, airing my complaints with society.

Wow, my blog sucks too.

Don't be surprised if this is deleted soon....

Lessons from Hobo Cat

For anyone who doesn't read my statuses on Facebook, this my friends is hobo cat. We found her yesterday in a bush outside of my apartment complex. She's incredibly sweet and lovable, and in all seriousness, we named her Calico--not hobo cat. You may call her Cali for short if you'd like or simply hobo cat if you're into nicknames like me.

The point is Cali is sweet, lovable, sensitive in all the right ways, caring, humble, easy going, easy to get along with, and unselfish. Everything you should strive to be in a human being, she's accomplished as a cat. In other words, if an angel could be a kitty, Cali would be it. Even when she placed her claws into my couch, all I had to do was rebuke her and she listened. I wish they made more humans who listened to correction and criticism like Cali has.

My point is if this cat can get it right, why can't we?

I've spent 24 hours with this cat and I've observed unique qualities in her that I think we should all aspire to possess in our own lives.

So what can hobo cat teach us?

1. Don't sweat the small stuff- Joel gets worried easily. And I can identify with that because I used to be the same way. One of my favorite verses in Scripture is Luke 12:25, which asks the simple question: "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" The simple answer is....no one. No one can add an hour to their day by worrying. And that's the point. The great irony in that verse is that worrying doesn't add anything to your life, it instead takes away from your life. It takes your time, money, energy and emotions. So stop sweating the small stuff. But don't take my word for it, ask hobo cat. She's sleeping for the 13th hour today.

2. Focus on what's important- I know it sounds cliche but it's absolutely true. The more you listen to self-help gurus, spiritual leaders and experts; they all seem to say the same thing. Don't overcomplicate your life, slim down your life by getting your priorities in order, don't take on more than you can handle, set realistic goals, live a more simple life instead of a hard one. It kind of ties in with "Don't sweat the small stuff" but basically get your priorities in order. Focus on what really matters in life. For me that's four things: Family, friends, faith and finances. I try my best to stick to that model but that doesn't mean I'm always successful. But if Cali can stick to her priorities (eating, sleeping and....pooping) than we can focus on what matters in our lives. If hobo cat can avoid trouble (like chasing birds into the street) and additional stress (you heard me, Cali....don't break anything) than so can we. Follow hobo cat's lead...focus on what's important.

3. Love wins-  What's cuter than a cuddly cat begging to be loved? Why can't we be that loving? Why can't we be so consumed with love we beg to be loved back? The great part about it is as Cali displays love towards me, the more I show love right back. Man, maybe we could rub off on people in a positive way if we were just more like my stray cat and less like the self-absorbed, materialistic people we've become. Imagine what kind of relationships we'd have in our lives if we just followed my hobo cat's lead. As Charlie Sheen would say, "WINNING!"

Those are the three lessons I've learned from hobo cat in the past 24 hours. I have to say, hobo cat is an incredible life coach. Guys like Tony Robbins and Joel Osteen could probably learn a thing or two from hobo cat. Now if you'll excuse me, hobo cat is sleeping and I don't want my loud typing to wake her. I can tell because she's curled up and her paws are twitching like she's having a dream. Maybe she's dreaming of a better world where people were kinder, gentler, focused...and with less dogs.

God Love Gays.

I really like this sermon and wanted to share it. It's not a pro-gay sermon (He even seems to share the same position as most Christians on homosexuality), nor it is an anti-gay sermon. I think it's a very level head approach to the issue of homosexuality. It's an open appeal to love each other, no matter their race, gender and yes....even sexual orientation.

It is five parts. I encourage you to watch all five parts. You don't have to agree with every part of the sermon, I know I don't. But it gives you something to think about and consider.

Here's part one:

"Regardless of what your take is on homosexuality, it's not our job to judge or condemn. It is our job to love. We're actually commanded by Jesus to love."

Where's R.E.M. when you need it?

Remember when they said the world would end in 2012?

That supposedly the Mayan calendar had predicted the end was near. Many shows on television speculated about the apocalypse and it even sparked a hit movie. Most universally laughed at the notion and it's now seen as myth and unreasonable paranoia. 

I don't know when the world will end but I seriously doubt it'll be 2012. Or 2011.

If you've read the headlines lately, it's hard to miss the "world is coming to an end" rhetoric of Harold Camping and the Family Radio broadcasting network. They believe that date is May 21st, 2011.

That's right! The world will end....tomorrow!

Camping says he has "infallible, absolute proof" that Judgment Day is upon us. According to him and his sketchy mathematics, the Bible predicts tomorrow as the Day of the Rapture. So if you planned a trip to the lake tomorrow, don't worry about it. If you had dinner plans or decided to go out, don't even bother. Tomorrow is when God will call believers to heaven.

.....Or maybe not.

I would like to disprove Harold Camping with two simple facts:

1. We've been here, done this before. Christians have claimed the world was going to end for decades and decades. This is nothing new. Remember when Pat Robertson said it would end in the 1980's? It came, it went and nothing happened. To make matters worse for Harold Camping, he's predicted this before. He said the world would end in 1994. My sister was born in '94 and she's 16 years old now. Harold, she's testimony to your credibility on this whole prediction game.

2. Jesus says you're wrong. Who should I trust? Jesus or Harold Camping. "But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." - Mark 13:32. When Christ speaks, we listen. If he says no one will know the date than no one will know. I tend to take him at his word. Since, uh, well....you know.

So now that we have that out of the way, let's look at the bigger issue here. Harold Camping has become an excuse for the media to attack Christians. Most Christians aren't flocking to Family Radio's side. In fact, most have distanced themselves from him completely and quoted the same verse I just provided. And yet, many take this opportunity to mock Christianity because of this fringe group. Atheist groups are even organizing "Rapture parties" mocking the pie-in-the-face that will no doubt take place tomorrow for Harold.

This isn't the first time recently that fringe Christian groups have made a mockery of religion in the media. The Supreme Court case victory of Westboro Baptist Church made it possible for fringe churches to preach hateful, vicious things and hide under free speech. Then there's the church in Florida that made headlines for threatening to burn the Quran, causing Muslims to promise violence, fueling worldwide anger. 

I know what you're saying.....these are isolated incidents of fringe religious groups that do not speak for all Christians. Which is true. But that doesn't stop the media from painting Christianity with a broad brush. And we certainly don't help the case when we attack other Christians and label them heretics left and right.

Insert, Rob Bell. I don't agree with Rob Bell. I don't even think Rob Bell is that great of a communicator or leader. But he's influential, he's got a big church and a big megaphone to spark debate. And he's done that. We can disagree with him and argue with him without throwing out labels or becoming hateful. Many Christians labeled him a heretic over his book "Love Wins" without even reading the book. Many reacted hatefully to a book that interestingly enough had the word "love" in the title.

We don't have to let the media play off Christians as fringe, out of touch and crazy. But when we put fuel on the fire, we have no one to blame but ourselves. When I was an atheist, I easily latched onto things like these as ammo against religion. The problem with Christianity today is it's not a loving conversation but a hateful confrontation. We're eager to be the loudest in the room but not eager enough to shut up, listen to others and then give them our own testimony of God.

So that's my take on May 21st, 2011.

That's your cue, R.E.M.