Joel has been my best friend for over a year now.
We got together in September and he moved here to escape certain situations and to grow independently in November. We built a great friendship and relationship over the last year that is based on trust and love. I can literally go to him about anything and vice versa. We won't judge one another and there is no wrong answers.
We simply discuss anything and everything, then we help one another. I love that about our relationship. He knows about my past--the good and the bad--and what I desire for my future. I know what makes him happy and what keeps him up at night. It's a beautiful thing we have and I thank God every day for the gift of his friendship and love in my life.
A situation arose this week when I had to do something uncomfortable for him. Joel has a rough time displaying his emotions sometimes. He feels like no matter what he does, he's seen as wrong and shouldn't even try, because he doesn't have the right answers anyway. A lot of this has to do with his past. It's something I've had a hard time dealing with because he lets the past hold him back and if he's not careful, it will affect his future.
But he had some strained issues with his parents and family he wanted to get off his chest. Stuff that made him upset and ate away at him. Stuff I knew that was holding him back from being the person I know he can be. And that really sucked for me.
So I decided to do what he couldn't. I got the balling rolling for him. I called his father and had a long conversation. I'm not here to air out drama or talk about the conversation but it was very uncomfortable. I'm passionate about a lot of things and one of them is Joel. So I had to come into the conversation with a level head and remember this was Joel's parents.
I knew how hurt he was. And I knew that at one point, my life was under the microscope of these people. So my feelings on the situation were intense and passionate. I had to turn that intensity and passion into a meaningful conversation and not just a shouting match. It didn't really get out of hand (but maybe once--even then I tried to reign myself back in) and I thought I handled it well.
But I didn't want to. I didn't want to get the ball rolling for Joel because he was afraid of starting a conversation he needed to have. But I did it anyway.
I did it because I love him.
I did it because I want the best for him.
I did it because I see a lot of potential and worth in him (that sometimes he doesn't see in himself) and I wanted to make sure this stumbling block didn't stop him from being the person God created him to be.
It wasn't my favorite conversation. It wasn't even my best conversation. I may have not made a difference one way or the other. I may have made things worse. I really don't know. But what I do know is I did it out of love.
I think about all the uncomfortable things we do for those we love. If love was based on comfortability, it wouldn't be unconditional--it would be conditional. I don't want to have fake love for my friends, family or Joel. I want it to be real.
Even if it's uncomfortable to express sometimes.
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