Us vs. Them

Why do we love the "us vs. them" attitudes in America?

We thrive on differences and obsess about conflict. Just look at our politics. Democrats and Republicans. Both parties eager to convince us the other is bad, out of touch and a nightmare for the country. They spend millions of dollars trashing each other and wedging differences between voters to keep power. Never mind that both parties have been corrupted and gutted of moral courage and common sense. They want us to pick a side and defend that side against brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers and neighbors. You're a Republican. You're a Democrat.

It amazes me how much paranoia I see with in the religious community. How they like to play the game like everyone is out to get them. "It's the enemy, it's the enemy" they'll proclaim when things don't go their way. It could be a cop out for a situation they're responsible for but they blame it on the "enemy" and make it them versus the enemy. Bad kids? Enemy. Bad marriage? Enemy. Bad situation? It's the enemy, stupid. God did say you'll have an enemy. God did mention that the enemy will try and knock you off your path. However, God didn't say you don't have personal responsibility and you don't play a role in your own good and bad situations.

Recently someone close to me had some conflicts with others. After the situation had settled down and simmered a bit, an unleashing of Facebook statuses took place. He would come to me saying "I can't even go on Facebook without ten different statuses about this same situation." The other side of the conflict was posting statuses about how the enemy was attacking, everyones out to get them, people are trying to tear them apart. Now what amazed me about this wasn't the compulsive statuses posted one after another. 

It was the fact that these people insisted that they had no personal responsibility and it was some other force out to get them. I've been thrust into this situation by no choosing of my own. I was just an innocent bystander until this person close to me dragged me into it. And maybe I needed to be, to inject some sanity into the mix. Nothing was getting accomplished. But unfortunately, nothing is still getting accomplished. The situation is tense, hurtful and at a fever pitch.

They've made it us vs. them. They've picked their "enemy" to blame it on and decided to ignore their personal responsibility and pretend they have no blame. As for me and my loved one that this blog originates from, we're not going to live our lives that way. I refuse to let us. It's not us versus anyone. I don't have any enemies but myself. And when I get into a hot mess that I've created, I'm going to try my best to admit my mistake and advance forward.

"For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, jthat each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad." - 2 Corinthians 5:10

"For heach one shall bear his own load." - Galatians 6:5

Deja Vu Unity

I was in seventh grade on September 11th, 2001.

It's one of those moments you don't forget. People who were alive when John F. Kennedy was assassinated can tell you where they were, what they were doing and who they were with. 9/11 was one of those JFK-like moments.

I was in history class talking to my best friend at the time. Our teacher was called out into the hall and came back crying. We turned on the television and sat in silence as we watched the events unfold. I don't think I'll ever forget that moment. I don't think any of us will.

Osama Bin Laden and his band of extremists attacked America and unleashed a war that we're still fighting to this day. Yesterday when my mother called me with the news that Bin Laden finally met his maker, I couldn't help but stop what I was doing to go into my living room to turn on the news.

Like many of you, I stayed glued to the TV for the next few hours. I couldn't help but get involved with the running social network commentary that everyone was doing about the event. I cheered along as Americans celebrated outside the White House chanting, "USA! USA! USA!"

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog that proclaimed the bad guys always win. The thief gets away with it. The liar slips away untouched. The company that's no good will make record profits while we struggle.

This is one of those situations where good triumphed evil. All the while, I didn't rejoice at the death of Osama Bin Laden. I wouldn't rejoice at the death of any man. But I did rejoice that justice was served and those families affected by his actions may now find peace.

Just like we were united when Osama shattered the hopes of many of our individuals and brought our nation to it's knees, we're united as Osama finds justice.

But how long will the unity last? Not long. Not long at all.

Soon the news media will go back to the Royal Weddings and the Charlie Sheen's of the world. The White House and our government will go back to fighting and positioning for election year. We'll go back to work, get lost in the distractions of our entertainment and move on with our lives.

Maybe unity is just an ideal. Maybe it's not possible. And when it does happen, it's temporal. But for this brief moment, like so many of you--I'm proud to be an American. And I'm proud that good triumphed over evil and that this mass killer was brought to justice after ten long years.

Uncomfortable Love is Unconditional Love

Joel has been my best friend for over a year now.

We got together in September and he moved here to escape certain situations and to grow independently in November. We built a great friendship and relationship over the last year that is based on trust and love. I can literally go to him about anything and vice versa. We won't judge one another and there is no wrong answers.

We simply discuss anything and everything, then we help one another. I love that about our relationship. He knows about my past--the good and the bad--and what I desire for my future. I know what makes him happy and what keeps him up at night. It's a beautiful thing we have and I thank God every day for the gift of his friendship and love in my life.

A situation arose this week when I had to do something uncomfortable for him. Joel has a rough time displaying his emotions sometimes. He feels like no matter what he does, he's seen as wrong and shouldn't even try, because he doesn't have the right answers anyway. A lot of this has to do with his past. It's something I've had a hard time dealing with because he lets the past hold him back and if he's not careful, it will affect his future.

But he had some strained issues with his parents and family he wanted to get off his chest. Stuff that made him upset and ate away at him. Stuff I knew that was holding him back from being the person I know he can be. And that really sucked for me.

So I decided to do what he couldn't. I got the balling rolling for him. I called his father and had a long conversation. I'm not here to air out drama or talk about the conversation but it was very uncomfortable. I'm passionate about a lot of things and one of them is Joel. So I had to come into the conversation with a level head and remember this was Joel's parents.

I knew how hurt he was. And I knew that at one point, my life was under the microscope of these people. So my feelings on the situation were intense and passionate. I had to turn that intensity and passion into a meaningful conversation and not just a shouting match. It didn't really get out of hand (but maybe once--even then I tried to reign myself back in) and I thought I handled it well.

But I didn't want to. I didn't want to get the ball rolling for Joel because he was afraid of starting a conversation he needed to have. But I did it anyway.

I did it because I love him.

I did it because I want the best for him.

I did it because I see a lot of potential and worth in him (that sometimes he doesn't see in himself) and I wanted to make sure this stumbling block didn't stop him from being the person God created him to be.

It wasn't my favorite conversation. It wasn't even my best conversation. I may have not made a difference one way or the other. I may have made things worse. I really don't know. But what I do know is I did it out of love.

I think about all the uncomfortable things we do for those we love. If love was based on comfortability, it wouldn't be unconditional--it would be conditional. I don't want to have fake love for my friends, family or Joel. I want it to be real.

Even if it's uncomfortable to express sometimes.

Jesus > Jelly Beans

I don't have a problem with parents teaching their children that Santa Claus doesn't exist. Let's face it, he doesn't. He's made up and just a ploy for some parents to get their kids to be good around a stressful time of year in exchange for presents. Some do it because it's tradition and they think it's fun. I grew up going to my great grandmothers every year to sit on "Santa's" lap to tell him what I wanted for Christmas.

I knew it wasn't really him. Secretly, I figured he didn't exist. I may of been six or seven but I wasn't stupid. I just enjoyed the chance to spend time with my family and share memories that I'll probably remember for the rest of my life. There was a sense of family and warmness around that time of the year. 

Easter was no different. We would go to my grandparents house for Easter egg hunts and to have big pot luck styled dinners. It was a lot of fun. I wasn't really much of a Christian then, so to me--it was just for fun. My grandparents were deeply religious, so they'd try to teach us about the seriousness of the holiday. Now, that means more to me than it did then.

I'm thankful that they tried to plant that in me. As I've grown and matured, and became a Christian, remembering my grandmother telling us "Jesus is the reason" for the season is an important memory. And now I can't ever forget that, even if I tried.

That doesn't mean we didn't enjoy a laugh or two hunting for colored eggs. Or we didn't exchange candy and have big feasts. Family is something to celebrate. Sharing with each other is something to celebrate. Jesus' resurrection is  definitely something to celebrate.

I know the origins of some of the traditions of some of the holidays. Some of the traditions are pagan in origin. If you enjoy the season like I did as a kid because you like candy, presents, family dinners and fake characters like the Easter bunny or Santa--you're missing the point.

But if you're enjoying gifts with family and just making memories together, while celebrating the reason for the season, what's the problem?

What gives for some people?

What's so wrong enjoying some candy on resurrection day? What's wrong with some colored eggs?

You don't want the Easter bunny taught to your kids? Fine, don't do it.

But I don't understand how some people can disagree with Westboro Baptist Church when they're saying soldiers died because of their sins and homosexuals deserve the death penalty; but agree with them when they label those who follow these traditions as idolatrous and holiday worshippers. That's religiosity and an incredibly holier-than-thou attitude. 

I don't worship my family. Or candy. Or eggs. I don't even think those are the core reasons for the holiday. I know the reason for the season and I celebrate it.

But I also know not all of my friends and family are Christians. I don't rub my religion in their noses. I celebrate with them and make memories. I don't forget why the day is important and I don't minimize it. 

I have some candy, I eat some lunch, I spend some laughs with those I care about the most and I thank God for the blessings he's given me.

I'm thankful and humbled by the fact he died for my sake and rose from the grave for people like me.

Happy Easter!

"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” — 1 Peter 2:24


Happy Easter everyone!


Love,
Jordon

The Bad Guys Always Win

One year ago. 

It's hard to think that just one year ago the news was covering the BP oil spill around the clock while one of the biggest environmental crises was unfolding. The images of the struggling wild life and blackened waters of the gulf. It was absolutely tragic.

The people were pissed and rightfully so. BP screwed up big time and they deserved to pay. So, many individuals boycotted the company and staged protests. They held the companies feet to the fire and demanded answers for why this happened.

So where is BP a year later?

Did the people punish them enough to do damage? Did this crisis cause their business to decline?

Yahoo had the answers:

Despite the uncertainties, BP announced Feb. 1 that it would restore its dividend and that it made a fourth-quarter profit of $5.6 billion, a 30 percent increase from the same period a year earlier. Rising oil prices are certain to boost its cash on hand and could lead to even higher profits. BP's stock fell 54 percent in the months after the spill, but it has regained much of that since then. 

The public should have bankrupted that company unless they made this right and corrected their mistakes. Instead we dropped the ball after the bad press died down and the headlines disappeared. BP's stock regained it's strength and they netted profits of nearly $6 billion, which the Yahoo article says is a 30% increase over this period last year.


So not only are they doing as good as last year when the oil spill took place--they're doing better.


Then there is Cincinnati Reds player Mike Leake. Leake may play in a profession I'm not that familiar with but I know enough about major league baseball to know he's paid a pretty penny. In fact, Leake made $425,000 in his second season as a major league player. 


Leake has the prestige of being a major league baseball player, the duty of being a role model to children and others, and an impressive high six figure income. 


And yet CNN is reporting this:

Police arrest reports said Leake removed the price tags from six American Rag T-shirts at a Macy's store and tried to leave without paying for them. Leake makes $425,000 in his second season in the majors.

A Macy's spokesman said the company had no comment beyond what was reported by police.

He's got an income that many of us would kill for. He's got the raw talent and incredible honor of being a pro baseball player. And he shoplifts at a local Macy's for $59.88 worth of t-shirts.


There are single mothers who shoplift, while feeling shame and guilt, to provide food or clothing for their families. And while that's no excuse for shop lifting, I find that more justifiable than some hot shot major leaguer too cheap to spend some of his six figure income on cheap t-shirts. 


Big companies are raping us at the pump and spilling gallons of oil in our ocean and we reward them with increased profits the next year.


Pro baseball players are entertaining us for a huge income and then shoplifting from local stores.


These are not isolated situations. Lindsay Lohan steals a necklace and stands trial. Her reward? Two movie offers. Charlie Sheen goes crazy. Do we get him help? No, we pimp him out for big money on a nationwide tour, while television and movie companies scramble to offer him big deals.


Why is it we stand for this? Why do we tolerate our neighbors getting kicked out of their homes because they can't pay their mortgage? Why do we let it slide when the local church closes it's door after serving the community for decades simply because the bloodsucking banks don't want to give them a loan to survive?


Why do we reward the bad guys and let the good people down?


BP will net record profits while the local fishermen in the gulf can't make a decent buck because of the damage BP's mistake cost them.


The bad guys always win. And for some reason, we let them.

Born This Way

If you asked a heterosexual male or female if they've been straight since their earliest recollection of their sexuality, they'd say yes. It amazes me that many homophobic individuals don't realize homosexuals are the same way. Nothing happened to make us this way, despite popular belief. We were just....born this way.

Recently those three words have been a rallying cry for many individuals. Some of it is because of the growing importance of the equal rights movement. Some of it has to do with the chart topping song by Lady Gaga. What ever the reason...it makes a lot of sense. We, as homosexuals, were born this way.

Is that hard to swallow? Maybe, but it shouldn't be. Straight people believe they were born that way, so why not us? Science clearly shows straight individuals are born that way. Hell, common sense shows that. The biggest anti-gay marriage protesters will shove in your face the fact that men and women are required to sustain life together in heterosexual relationships. It's harder to see evidence of natural same sex ties. But they're there. Scientists are quickly picking up on the biological, environmental and genetic nature of homosexuality. They're seeing it's more natural than we've previously known. Homosexuality is seen through out the entire animal kingdom. In the history of the world, homosexuality is seen in most species as natural and normal.

Why are we any different? Part of it is because the population of homosexuals is much, much less than heterosexuals. It's human nature to disapprove of things we don't understand. That's why the majority of white individuals in America didn't understand the minority of African Americans that were their slaves in the early history of our nation. We saw them as inferior and something to fear and loathe. We now look at that idea as racist and wrong. Time changes, opinions change and the awareness of African Americans as no different than us white folks is better known.

Another aspect of that is religious in nature. When African Americans were mistreated by white slave owners, many pro-slavery individuals used Bible verses to justify their support of the medieval practice. Many of them misused Scripture and seemed to claim that God approved of the slavery of African Americans. We know that's insanity today. But back then, that was understood as truth.

Do we see homosexuals as something to be feared because we don't understand them? Do we use Scripture to justify misunderstanding and hatred towards gay people? Society has to really think about this. If you're going to deny rights to individuals because of their sexual orientation, you better have a damn good reason. 

One of the things that annoys me is the fact that many people who oppose homosexuality focus on how we have sex. They don't focus on us as individuals. They don't realize we have many of the same hopes and dreams, fears and insecurities as them. We like the same foods and go to the same public events. We live many of the same boring routines in life that heterosexuals experience. I know I do, at least.

Further, many look at the stereotypes of homosexuals. They see homosexuals as feminine, promiscuous, prone to drug abuse and alcoholism. One example I'd use is the African American community. Many people stereotype them with violence and drug abuse. Most black individuals are good, decent people. They live and die like we all do. But some of them get caught up in the stereotype. Some of the youth turn to drugs and violence, all because a stereotype tells them it's what they're supposed to be. It shouldn't be that way and it doesn't have to be that way. Homosexuals are the same way. If you tell them they're supposed to be promiscuous and feminine, a lot are promiscuous and feminine. A few bad apples don't spoil the whole tree. Most are good, decent individuals.

If you look at this with the religious aspect again, you'll see many Christians label gay people as hopeless, incredibly sinful people. If you tell people they're hopeless, they'll act hopeless. If you tell them they're bad to their core, they'll act that way. It's not an excuse but it's a glimpse in the logic of many homosexual individuals. And those same judgmental Christians ignore the examples of the majority of gay people who live as model citizens with good morals and good hearts. And they ignore the many bad, lost people in their own community.

At the end of the day, if homosexuality isn't natural, we still owe this community of people respect and equality--even if it's a choice. We're all children of God and nothing about the sexuality is downright bad. Are there bad homosexuals? Sure. But there are bad heterosexuals. I have to believe that my sexuality is what God produced me to be. That may be controversial and polarizing but it's true.

I'm not gay for attention. I don't want my sexuality in the headlines, I just want my rights--nothing more or less. I'm not gay because something happened to me in my child hood. I wasn't molested. I didn't have a different childhood from my straight brothers and sister. I'm not gay because it's some hip fad. Lord knows that we face enough discrimination and hatred that if it were a choice, I wouldn't want anything to do with it.

In the end, Gaga has it right. God makes no mistakes.

And I'm glad....I was born this way.