Uncomfortable Love is Unconditional Love

Joel has been my best friend for over a year now.

We got together in September and he moved here to escape certain situations and to grow independently in November. We built a great friendship and relationship over the last year that is based on trust and love. I can literally go to him about anything and vice versa. We won't judge one another and there is no wrong answers.

We simply discuss anything and everything, then we help one another. I love that about our relationship. He knows about my past--the good and the bad--and what I desire for my future. I know what makes him happy and what keeps him up at night. It's a beautiful thing we have and I thank God every day for the gift of his friendship and love in my life.

A situation arose this week when I had to do something uncomfortable for him. Joel has a rough time displaying his emotions sometimes. He feels like no matter what he does, he's seen as wrong and shouldn't even try, because he doesn't have the right answers anyway. A lot of this has to do with his past. It's something I've had a hard time dealing with because he lets the past hold him back and if he's not careful, it will affect his future.

But he had some strained issues with his parents and family he wanted to get off his chest. Stuff that made him upset and ate away at him. Stuff I knew that was holding him back from being the person I know he can be. And that really sucked for me.

So I decided to do what he couldn't. I got the balling rolling for him. I called his father and had a long conversation. I'm not here to air out drama or talk about the conversation but it was very uncomfortable. I'm passionate about a lot of things and one of them is Joel. So I had to come into the conversation with a level head and remember this was Joel's parents.

I knew how hurt he was. And I knew that at one point, my life was under the microscope of these people. So my feelings on the situation were intense and passionate. I had to turn that intensity and passion into a meaningful conversation and not just a shouting match. It didn't really get out of hand (but maybe once--even then I tried to reign myself back in) and I thought I handled it well.

But I didn't want to. I didn't want to get the ball rolling for Joel because he was afraid of starting a conversation he needed to have. But I did it anyway.

I did it because I love him.

I did it because I want the best for him.

I did it because I see a lot of potential and worth in him (that sometimes he doesn't see in himself) and I wanted to make sure this stumbling block didn't stop him from being the person God created him to be.

It wasn't my favorite conversation. It wasn't even my best conversation. I may have not made a difference one way or the other. I may have made things worse. I really don't know. But what I do know is I did it out of love.

I think about all the uncomfortable things we do for those we love. If love was based on comfortability, it wouldn't be unconditional--it would be conditional. I don't want to have fake love for my friends, family or Joel. I want it to be real.

Even if it's uncomfortable to express sometimes.

Jesus > Jelly Beans

I don't have a problem with parents teaching their children that Santa Claus doesn't exist. Let's face it, he doesn't. He's made up and just a ploy for some parents to get their kids to be good around a stressful time of year in exchange for presents. Some do it because it's tradition and they think it's fun. I grew up going to my great grandmothers every year to sit on "Santa's" lap to tell him what I wanted for Christmas.

I knew it wasn't really him. Secretly, I figured he didn't exist. I may of been six or seven but I wasn't stupid. I just enjoyed the chance to spend time with my family and share memories that I'll probably remember for the rest of my life. There was a sense of family and warmness around that time of the year. 

Easter was no different. We would go to my grandparents house for Easter egg hunts and to have big pot luck styled dinners. It was a lot of fun. I wasn't really much of a Christian then, so to me--it was just for fun. My grandparents were deeply religious, so they'd try to teach us about the seriousness of the holiday. Now, that means more to me than it did then.

I'm thankful that they tried to plant that in me. As I've grown and matured, and became a Christian, remembering my grandmother telling us "Jesus is the reason" for the season is an important memory. And now I can't ever forget that, even if I tried.

That doesn't mean we didn't enjoy a laugh or two hunting for colored eggs. Or we didn't exchange candy and have big feasts. Family is something to celebrate. Sharing with each other is something to celebrate. Jesus' resurrection is  definitely something to celebrate.

I know the origins of some of the traditions of some of the holidays. Some of the traditions are pagan in origin. If you enjoy the season like I did as a kid because you like candy, presents, family dinners and fake characters like the Easter bunny or Santa--you're missing the point.

But if you're enjoying gifts with family and just making memories together, while celebrating the reason for the season, what's the problem?

What gives for some people?

What's so wrong enjoying some candy on resurrection day? What's wrong with some colored eggs?

You don't want the Easter bunny taught to your kids? Fine, don't do it.

But I don't understand how some people can disagree with Westboro Baptist Church when they're saying soldiers died because of their sins and homosexuals deserve the death penalty; but agree with them when they label those who follow these traditions as idolatrous and holiday worshippers. That's religiosity and an incredibly holier-than-thou attitude. 

I don't worship my family. Or candy. Or eggs. I don't even think those are the core reasons for the holiday. I know the reason for the season and I celebrate it.

But I also know not all of my friends and family are Christians. I don't rub my religion in their noses. I celebrate with them and make memories. I don't forget why the day is important and I don't minimize it. 

I have some candy, I eat some lunch, I spend some laughs with those I care about the most and I thank God for the blessings he's given me.

I'm thankful and humbled by the fact he died for my sake and rose from the grave for people like me.

Happy Easter!

"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” — 1 Peter 2:24


Happy Easter everyone!


Love,
Jordon

The Bad Guys Always Win

One year ago. 

It's hard to think that just one year ago the news was covering the BP oil spill around the clock while one of the biggest environmental crises was unfolding. The images of the struggling wild life and blackened waters of the gulf. It was absolutely tragic.

The people were pissed and rightfully so. BP screwed up big time and they deserved to pay. So, many individuals boycotted the company and staged protests. They held the companies feet to the fire and demanded answers for why this happened.

So where is BP a year later?

Did the people punish them enough to do damage? Did this crisis cause their business to decline?

Yahoo had the answers:

Despite the uncertainties, BP announced Feb. 1 that it would restore its dividend and that it made a fourth-quarter profit of $5.6 billion, a 30 percent increase from the same period a year earlier. Rising oil prices are certain to boost its cash on hand and could lead to even higher profits. BP's stock fell 54 percent in the months after the spill, but it has regained much of that since then. 

The public should have bankrupted that company unless they made this right and corrected their mistakes. Instead we dropped the ball after the bad press died down and the headlines disappeared. BP's stock regained it's strength and they netted profits of nearly $6 billion, which the Yahoo article says is a 30% increase over this period last year.


So not only are they doing as good as last year when the oil spill took place--they're doing better.


Then there is Cincinnati Reds player Mike Leake. Leake may play in a profession I'm not that familiar with but I know enough about major league baseball to know he's paid a pretty penny. In fact, Leake made $425,000 in his second season as a major league player. 


Leake has the prestige of being a major league baseball player, the duty of being a role model to children and others, and an impressive high six figure income. 


And yet CNN is reporting this:

Police arrest reports said Leake removed the price tags from six American Rag T-shirts at a Macy's store and tried to leave without paying for them. Leake makes $425,000 in his second season in the majors.

A Macy's spokesman said the company had no comment beyond what was reported by police.

He's got an income that many of us would kill for. He's got the raw talent and incredible honor of being a pro baseball player. And he shoplifts at a local Macy's for $59.88 worth of t-shirts.


There are single mothers who shoplift, while feeling shame and guilt, to provide food or clothing for their families. And while that's no excuse for shop lifting, I find that more justifiable than some hot shot major leaguer too cheap to spend some of his six figure income on cheap t-shirts. 


Big companies are raping us at the pump and spilling gallons of oil in our ocean and we reward them with increased profits the next year.


Pro baseball players are entertaining us for a huge income and then shoplifting from local stores.


These are not isolated situations. Lindsay Lohan steals a necklace and stands trial. Her reward? Two movie offers. Charlie Sheen goes crazy. Do we get him help? No, we pimp him out for big money on a nationwide tour, while television and movie companies scramble to offer him big deals.


Why is it we stand for this? Why do we tolerate our neighbors getting kicked out of their homes because they can't pay their mortgage? Why do we let it slide when the local church closes it's door after serving the community for decades simply because the bloodsucking banks don't want to give them a loan to survive?


Why do we reward the bad guys and let the good people down?


BP will net record profits while the local fishermen in the gulf can't make a decent buck because of the damage BP's mistake cost them.


The bad guys always win. And for some reason, we let them.

Born This Way

If you asked a heterosexual male or female if they've been straight since their earliest recollection of their sexuality, they'd say yes. It amazes me that many homophobic individuals don't realize homosexuals are the same way. Nothing happened to make us this way, despite popular belief. We were just....born this way.

Recently those three words have been a rallying cry for many individuals. Some of it is because of the growing importance of the equal rights movement. Some of it has to do with the chart topping song by Lady Gaga. What ever the reason...it makes a lot of sense. We, as homosexuals, were born this way.

Is that hard to swallow? Maybe, but it shouldn't be. Straight people believe they were born that way, so why not us? Science clearly shows straight individuals are born that way. Hell, common sense shows that. The biggest anti-gay marriage protesters will shove in your face the fact that men and women are required to sustain life together in heterosexual relationships. It's harder to see evidence of natural same sex ties. But they're there. Scientists are quickly picking up on the biological, environmental and genetic nature of homosexuality. They're seeing it's more natural than we've previously known. Homosexuality is seen through out the entire animal kingdom. In the history of the world, homosexuality is seen in most species as natural and normal.

Why are we any different? Part of it is because the population of homosexuals is much, much less than heterosexuals. It's human nature to disapprove of things we don't understand. That's why the majority of white individuals in America didn't understand the minority of African Americans that were their slaves in the early history of our nation. We saw them as inferior and something to fear and loathe. We now look at that idea as racist and wrong. Time changes, opinions change and the awareness of African Americans as no different than us white folks is better known.

Another aspect of that is religious in nature. When African Americans were mistreated by white slave owners, many pro-slavery individuals used Bible verses to justify their support of the medieval practice. Many of them misused Scripture and seemed to claim that God approved of the slavery of African Americans. We know that's insanity today. But back then, that was understood as truth.

Do we see homosexuals as something to be feared because we don't understand them? Do we use Scripture to justify misunderstanding and hatred towards gay people? Society has to really think about this. If you're going to deny rights to individuals because of their sexual orientation, you better have a damn good reason. 

One of the things that annoys me is the fact that many people who oppose homosexuality focus on how we have sex. They don't focus on us as individuals. They don't realize we have many of the same hopes and dreams, fears and insecurities as them. We like the same foods and go to the same public events. We live many of the same boring routines in life that heterosexuals experience. I know I do, at least.

Further, many look at the stereotypes of homosexuals. They see homosexuals as feminine, promiscuous, prone to drug abuse and alcoholism. One example I'd use is the African American community. Many people stereotype them with violence and drug abuse. Most black individuals are good, decent people. They live and die like we all do. But some of them get caught up in the stereotype. Some of the youth turn to drugs and violence, all because a stereotype tells them it's what they're supposed to be. It shouldn't be that way and it doesn't have to be that way. Homosexuals are the same way. If you tell them they're supposed to be promiscuous and feminine, a lot are promiscuous and feminine. A few bad apples don't spoil the whole tree. Most are good, decent individuals.

If you look at this with the religious aspect again, you'll see many Christians label gay people as hopeless, incredibly sinful people. If you tell people they're hopeless, they'll act hopeless. If you tell them they're bad to their core, they'll act that way. It's not an excuse but it's a glimpse in the logic of many homosexual individuals. And those same judgmental Christians ignore the examples of the majority of gay people who live as model citizens with good morals and good hearts. And they ignore the many bad, lost people in their own community.

At the end of the day, if homosexuality isn't natural, we still owe this community of people respect and equality--even if it's a choice. We're all children of God and nothing about the sexuality is downright bad. Are there bad homosexuals? Sure. But there are bad heterosexuals. I have to believe that my sexuality is what God produced me to be. That may be controversial and polarizing but it's true.

I'm not gay for attention. I don't want my sexuality in the headlines, I just want my rights--nothing more or less. I'm not gay because something happened to me in my child hood. I wasn't molested. I didn't have a different childhood from my straight brothers and sister. I'm not gay because it's some hip fad. Lord knows that we face enough discrimination and hatred that if it were a choice, I wouldn't want anything to do with it.

In the end, Gaga has it right. God makes no mistakes.

And I'm glad....I was born this way.

Random Thoughts

I've tried coming up with solid topics to talk about in a blog post. So far all I've came up with are ideas that I couldn't talk about for more than two or three paragraphs without it sounding like an incoherent rambling session. So I've decided just to combine all the random, barely coherent thoughts I've had lately in one giant smorgasbord of a blog.

So here we go:

- Our church did a service on the importance of serving in the church this past weekend. I wanted to sign up but Joel was concerned. I think he's been doing stuff like that his whole life and wanted to take a break. He's still got a lot of raw feelings about religion that he needs to deal with and I respect that. I've even tried to help him. But for me, it's an old itch I want to scratch.

This may surprise some people but I like serving others. I've been doing it on and off since I was 16 years old. From volunteering on campaigns for good causes and political movements to spending time at homeless shelters. I stopped when I was about 18 or 19 but I missed it a lot. So when I was 20 and 21, I did it again. Only this time I didn't tell anyone. Not my family or most of my friends. I just did it and didn't talk about it. It wasn't for my own glory or for myself. I was just helping others. That's been something I've been reluctant to talk about till now.

I just don't like feeling like I'm patting myself on the shoulder for doing something we should all be doing. It really makes me angry to see the selfishness we face in our own lives today. I'm not immune from it either. Recently we were at Taco Bell and they asked us to donate to a good cause. It was only a dollar or two, so we didn't even hesitate. If I can afford four tacos and a drink, I can afford to help someone I'll never meet, but who needs the help more than I do.

And yet, I sat in my chair watching person after person turn down the cashier when she asked, "Would you like to donate a dollar to _______ today?" It made me angry. If you're poor, you're poor. That's no excuse. I had $30 in my bank account at that point and I didn't hesitate. Again, not trying to pat myself on the back. There have been times when I turned down charities at stores and restaurants.

What makes us hesitate when people need help? When they need served? What makes us so uneasy that we can't give an hour or two every week to help others? Heck, what makes us so uneasy we can't even donate four quarters in our pocket?

Remember this blog next time you're at a restaurant and they ask you to donate. Most of the world lives on less than two dollars a day, you can afford to hand over half that amount.

Oh, and don't forget to tip your waitress.

- Charlie Sheen has gone from mildly entertaining, to psychotically hilarious to down right embarrassing. It's amazing how much the media is loving this. It goes back to my "Don't Let Me Fall" blog I posted like a month ago. We're obsessed with famous people crumbling. And through it all, I don't see many people offering to help him. He's desperately on a comedy tour trying to make a quick buck and the reviews have been horrible. And yet, no one is helping him. Maybe no one can. But it amazes me how much the media focuses on the man and they bring on friends of Charlie to talk about his misfortunes. All the while, rarely focusing on ploys or plans to get him help.

Maybe I shouldn't feel sorry for him. He's an adult who made his own bed, I should let him sleep in it. He's made more money in the last year than I'll ever have my hands on. Sheen has been arrogant and vicious to everyone around him the last few months. This is his fault.

But when someone is addicted to drugs, we get them help. We don't pick at everything they've ever done wrong. We simply want them better. Charlie Sheen is no different.

- Lady Gaga recently came out with a song that got many talking. It was called "Born This Way" and it was probably the first song in history to have the word "transgendered" in it. She went on to rally all those who are insecure with themselves to be who they were born to be. It's a good message to some, to some it makes them uneasy. But she got people talking and I think that was her point all long. Now she's coming out with a song called "Judas", which is being hyped by those who have heard it as one of her top hits since "Bad Romance" and "Poker Face". While that gets many excited, including me, the subject matter of the song is a little....uh, troubling.

It's being reported that the music video will portray her as Mary Magdalene and a well known actor as Judas.  The whole thing has a biblical nature to it and it's potentially offensive. So potentially offensive that Gaga's creative director Laurieann Gibson almost called it quits on the music video. Gibson, who is a Christian, said:

"I was like, 'Listen, I don't want lightning to strike me!'" Gibson told The Hollywood Reporter. "I believe in the gospel and I'm not going there."

Gibson goes on to say she helped reign the music video in. Even so, I think many Gaga fans (including myself) are looking at the song concept with concern. I have no doubt the song will be huge and will probably top the charts. But at what cost? Remains to be seen.

Gibson did give some hope from the set of the "Judas" music video for concerned Gaga fans:

"It was amazing because to have that conversation about salvation, peace and the search for the truth in a room of non-believers and believers, to me, that was saying God is active in a big way," Gibson said. "And the place that it came to is surreal."