Bye Blogger.

This blog is going bye bye.

I'm moving my blog to JordonWright.com!

Don't you?

Don't you dislike when someone you love and care about doesn't believe in themselves, when they have so much potential?

Don't you dislike when people you've never met claim you're a bad influence on someone who you've done nothing but encourage and help through the pain their family has caused them?

Don't you dislike when people you've hardly met make no effort to get to know you but then trash you behind your back with falsehoods?

Don't you dislike seeing people talk a lot about how humble and good they are, when the fact they emphasize those supposed two qualities exposes they're really not that humble and/or good?

Don't you dislike when churches talk a lot of homosexuality and abortion, and not enough time on the streets meeting people where they are and trying to help those who need help?

Don't you dislike a generation of consumers and materialistic people (I'm just as guilty) who complain if they're $5 meal price is increased, when most of the world lives on half of that a day?

Don't you dislike the fact that churches are supposed to be all about the love of Christ, and yet the preachers use the pulpit as a vehicle to air their issues with people or to give their opinions?

Don't you dislike people who are flawed and act as if they're not?

Don't you dislike people who don't seem to think they're sinners? I'd rather be in a group full of people who know they're sinners, than people who pretend they're not.

Don't you dislike when Christians create their own little bubbles where they home school their kids, make their families hang out with only Christians (great evangelism) and who judge the world from their self-made thrones of self-righteousness?

Don't you dislike when people would rather stab you in the back, instead of stabbing you in the front?

Don't you dislike when people don't treat others how they want to be treated, and then preach to others that they should?

Don't you? I know I do.

Lessons Learned.

2011 has been.....interesting.

2010 was pretty much a bust. 2009 was a waste of life. But this year was different. I put my priorities to the front of my mind and had more focus on the things that mattered. Like I said, this year was different. A good kind of different. I've done my best to try to "plan" 2012, but I know I couldn't predict it if I tried. But I'm not going into the year without some of the same focus that I've given this year.

So lessons learned in 2011:

1. You really can't change people- Frustration with some of my relationships this year has left me trying to change some people. We don't have the ability to change anyone but ourselves. I've tried to motivate some to confront their insecurities and it hasn't fallen on deaf ears. But sometimes it's irritating seeing someone with so much potential not realize that fact. In other situations, I've had people I thought I could talk to and confront issues with. They simply wouldn't listen and it went no where. Certainly I'm not perfect, so I've learned to focus on my own flaws and short comings--and let others deal with theirs. I'll help them as best as I know how to.

2. Religious people are nuts- I've read enough Christian books, watched enough Christian television and met enough Christian people this year to observe the differences between them. Some are conservative, some are liberal. Some are Baptist, Assemblies of God and Catholic. Some are the 'real deals' and some are....nuts. About a week ago in anger, I messaged one of my Christian friends on Facebook to rant. "I really don't like some Christians and I know that's wrong," I told him.  We had a decent conversation on the lack of authenticity of the Christian community, the need for some to elevate themselves up to act holier than others. It just smells funny because it is funny. I read Romans 3 about how we all fall short of God and I realize I have a lot of work to do for myself. Certainly I see others errors (or sawdust in eyes as Matthew puts it) but I try to focus on my own (the plank in my own eye, how hypocritical".  It just rubs me the wrong way to see Christians who should be engaging a culture that is abandoning their faith in droves who are instead trying to be the loudest in the room, the holiest in the room and trying to prove how spiritual they are. It's not a popularity contest, Jesus already won. Shake off the fake, the holier than thou attitudes, the pride and let's get to business. Let's have some humility to accept our own shortcomings (not everyone elses, OUR own) and focus on the one thing that should matter--Christ.

3. College isn't the answer- It really isn't. I'm not one of those who thinks that by going to college, my situation will be fixed. I know this is the (very expensive) first step in getting where I want to be. I'm willing to put in the work and prove myself. But the motivation and focus I've had in 2011, if I can make this last moving forward, I'm really excited about finishing school and starting my career. What career you may ask? Wait and see.....

4. It's not what you have, it's who you are- I used to be pretty image based. If I had one glaring insecurity, it was my appearance. I didn't like how I looked. Confronting that head on, I just don't focus on it as much. Call it another change of focus this year but it just....doesn't matter. I think it's time I worried less on my image and more on the things that matter--character. If anything was lacking in the last few years, it was character. It helps having someone like Joel here who reminds me how different (in a better way) I am since he first met me in early 2010.

5. God is good- I don't need to explain this one.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who reads this. Minus maybe my mother.

In any event, these are some of the lessons I've learned this year. It helps writing them out.

2012, here we come.

Fall.

Summer wasn't as successful as I hoped.

But Fall is here. 

So far, so good. I'm back in the full swing of classes and trying to finish 2011 strong. 

What's going on with me this Fall?

Things I'm doing-

Working on my classes. Which means lots and lots of homework. Some how I managed to schedule a math class and english class this semester. So Joel gets to hear me yell at the computer a lot. On top of that, I've been studying a lot. Not just school but in other subjects. Which has meant a lot of reading. Like I said on my Facebook, I've done more reading in the last six months than the rest of my life combined. Trying to find a different church closer to our apartment. Also, I'm trying to find a good job. I'm tired of less than desirable jobs, so we'll see what happens. The economy stinks.....so maybe I'll have to settle, eh?

Things I'm working on-

I'm trying to finalize my plans for the last two years of college. I've narrowed my list to three colleges but with how indecisive I am, we'll see. I'm working on my plans for 2012 and what I'd like to call my 5-year and 10-year plans. Apparently that's contagious, I've got Joel doing the same thing. I'm trying to improve my grades after a lackluster Summer semester. To be determined. 

Music I'm listening to-

I downloaded No Doubt's greatest hits, so lots of that. Florence and the Machine, Adele, Jesus Culture, Elevation Worship, Death Cab For Cutie, Sufjan Stevens and Amy Winehouse.

What I'm watching- 

Pretty much what I normally watch. Restaurant Impossible, Chopped, Diners Drive-Ins and Dives, and pretty much anything on Food Network. American Dad, Family Guy, Seinfeld re-runs, Law and Order SVU and really bad Christian television. Which makes Joel laugh. 

Books I'm reading- 

My math textbook and english textbooks. Unfortunately, that takes up a lot of time. Last month I read "Erasing Hell" and "Forgotten God" both by Francis Chan, as well as"Systematic Theology" by Wayne Grudem. This month I'm reading my textbooks (of course), "Ashamed of the Gospel" by John MacArthur and "Systematic Theology" still. Of course my Bible and when I start my worlds religion class later this semester, you can add on that textbook.

Things I'm looking forward to-

Finalizing my short term plans, rough drafts of my long term plans, deciding on colleges, working on "career advancement", Halloween, Thanksgiving, Starbucks mochas, and Fall walks.

I'm sure you're wondering why I'm telling you all of this.

To be honest, not really sure. Maybe I'm bored, maybe I'm thinking out loud.

But that's my Fall. Enjoy yours.

Seasons of Doubt

If we're honest, we doubt.

We doubt our own abilities. We doubt our circumstances will improve. We doubt we'll be able to accomplish something we grasp for. And we doubt our own faith.

I just overcame a season of doubt.

Where I questioned myself and everything I thought I knew. Was this really reality? Or was my mind playing tricks on me?

Death Cab For Cutie happens to be one of my favorite bands. And when they released their new album, one song stuck out to me. It starts out slow and builds till the chilling end, building momentum as the song grows and grows. I love the song. I'm intimidated by the song. It scares me and challenges me.

Inside of it's simplicity is so much complexity. Questions of doubt about the very faith that holds my life together.

I'm not intimidated by the likes of Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins. They're as hypocritical as fundamentalist atheists as some of the fundamentalist "Christians." I don't blink an eye to documentaries like Bill Mahers, where he tries to turn my faith into a big joke. I don't even care that I have family members that are atheists and other faiths that would challenge my belief system. Obviously I care for them and wish for peace in their own hearts but I don't mind if they make the choice to have faith that challenges mine.

It's not in any of those circumstances that I feel uncomfortable or uncertain. It's in a song--this song. The build towards the end of the 4:31 song drives out questions in my heart I didn't realize I had. The emotions of the whole thing make me question everything I thought I knew. Questions I'm not sure books like Lee Strobel's "Case for Christ" or "Case for Faith" could ever answer--I know because I've read them.

Maybe I won't know the answers to those questions this side of eternity. 

I've learned to be okay with that.

I have my doubts. And I most certainly have my seasons of doubts.

And while I don't blindly accept my belief system because it's popular or convenient, I give those things up to the God of my faith--trusting that I'll get answers inside of his time frame.

In the age of "prove it right here, right now" I'm putting my faith into something I can't see but I surely can feel. Am I stupid? Maybe some would think so. Misguided? That might be your opinion.

Jesus said in John 8:32 that we will know the truth, "and the truth will set you free."

"If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair." - C.S. Lewis

Despite the doubts, the questions, the tension--the quest for truth always leads back to one place. And that's where I'll continue to find my comfort. 

AFA: Cigarettes just as danger as homosexuality. Really?

(Based on Bryan Fischers article:  http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/fischer/101209)

I stumbled upon Bryan Fischers column when I was reading some statistics on a website. From first glance, it seems like just another anti-gay opinion piece from another conservative talk show host. But the suggestion that Mr. Fischer makes is quite serious. In fact, it's absolutely serious. He uses the surgeon general's report on one cigarette possibly being deadly to suggest one act of homosexual sex possibly being deadly.

His case? If you have gay sex, you could get HIV--even if you only do it once. In case Bryan doesn't realize it, (and I'm sure he does) not everyone who engages in homosexual "conduct" is HIV-positive. Actually quite the opposite. Most of those engaging in homosexuality do NOT have HIV. To suggest they do is misleading and dangerous. It's a horrible stereotype that has long plagued gay individuals.

I didn't know of a single HIV-positive gay person until I was 22 years old. For those of us who knew him, it was sobering to think about. For Bryan Fischer's personal knowledge, this person I knew with HIV wasn't exactly going on his first exposure to gay sex. He was, shall we say, kind of a whore. Not that that makes it any less sad or deadly. The fact still remains that comparing the dangers of cigarettes to  gay sex is kind of a stretch. No, scratch that. It's not kind of a stretch--it's a stretch and then some.

Does Bryan not realize that most gay people, like straight people, use condoms? Did Bryan consider the fact that straight people could easily get HIV if they have unprotected sex? I'm assuming he's going with the stereotype that gay people have higher rates of HIV/AIDS. For some black individuals, that stereotype is in place as well. Is he going to claim black people shouldn't engage in sex? Perhaps Bryan didn't think about the fact that many gay people don't even have sex. Seriously....I've known several of them. Some for religious purposes, others for tradition reasons.

He goes onto say:

We currently have between two and four percent of the population engaging in gay sex. How about we ask the surgeon general to launch a crusade to reduce the gay sex rate from four percent to one percent by 2020? 

Source: http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/fischer/101209 

I don't know what I'm more troubled by. The fact that this misguided conservative thinks gay sex is comparable to smoking or the fact he used the word 'crusade' in asking the surgeon general to help eliminate gay sex. The fact remains...if misused, sex is like anything else. It becomes dangerous. Gay or straight.

If Bryan Fischer wants to go on a "crusade" against sex, why not teen sex? Look at these stats:

• In 2009, 46% of high school students had sexual intercourse and 13.8% had four or more sex partners during their life.  Prior to the sexual activity, 21.6% drank alcohol or used drugs.  Only 38.9% used a condom.
  CDC
• In 2009, 34% of currently sexually active high school students did not use a condom during their last sexual intercourse.
  CDC
• In 2006, an estimated 5,259 young people (ages 13-24) were diagnosed with HIV/AIDS.
  CDC
• Each year, approximately 19 million new STD infections occur, and almost half of them are among youth ages 15-24. 

•  Source: http://www.sadd.org/stats.htm 

Unwanted pregnancies, abortions, STD's, porn, etc. Teenagers are being exposed to a lot of stuff at earlier and earlier ages. I would think if Bryan wanted to go after anything, it would be educating our kids about the dangers of misusing sex. Whether one believes in homosexuality or not is irrelevant. To lie, mislead and make inaccurate statements about gay people isn't going to gain his friends at the American Family Association any ground.

I remember a year or so ago, I had a great debate with a Christian rapper from New York about homosexuality. He said it was a sin and wrong, I said it wasn't. One of the things we battled over was the dangers of homosexual sex. It was a respectful debate and I thoroughly enjoyed it. My point is at the end of the debate, he offered to pray for me. He didn't say anything misleading or false. His intentions were genuine and I appreciated that. Even if I didn't agree with him, I respected his position.

How can you respect what Bryan Fischer claims?

Comparing the possibility of getting lung cancer from one cigarette and the possibility of HIV with one session of gay sex doesn't really cut it. It's insulting. If Bryan wants a debate on homosexuality, I know there are plenty of people waiting to debate him. But beginning with falsehoods and dangerous assertions isn't really the best approach.

In closing, I had a grand father who died of lung cancer. He was a smoker and he died a very slow, painful death. While the surgeon general suggested it's a possibility to die from one cigarette, that doesn't mean it's a strong personality. But if you misuse them your chances increase. The same thing could be said about sex. You misuse it, you pay the price. Or food. How many Americans have diabetes? Obesity?

My hope going forward is that people stop these silly arguments that aren't worth the paper they're written on. If you want an honest conversation, let's have it. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. If you're wrong, you're wrong. One of us WILL be wrong, the other WILL be right. But let's keep it honest.

Wheres my map?

I don't like taking directions from people.

Sometimes I let criticism get under my skin or I won't accept a rebuke. I guess to a degree, that's human nature. We don't like to hear what we're doing wrong and even some of the best advice we'll ignore. But I'm beginning to understand that it's necessary to listen to others, even when it might be uncomfortable for you.

I really don't know it all. I really do make mistakes. And if someone else can help, let them. Recently, I was given some advice I didn't want to hear. At first, I simply ignored it. But after a while I realized it was sound advice and the person was giving me wise counsel, so I finally accepted what they were saying.

Guess what? They were right, I was wrong.

If I would of listened to my gut, I would have egg on my face. I'd look like a major idiot and I'd try to quickly sweep it under the rug and hope no body noticed. Instead they slapped some sense into me, showed me what the right way was and I was put in my place. It kind of sucked, it was very uncomfortable for me.

But I'd rather have honest friends and wise counsel than going with my gut all the time (even when I'm wrong) and people around me who are nothing but yes-men who tell me what I want to hear.

I can take criticism. I can accept a rebuke. I'll listen to advice. And I'll certainly accept when I'm wrong. Does that mean I'm perfect at it? Fair from it.

But I'll continue to follow my map for my life and if I take a wrong turn, I hope some body is there to guide me in the right direction.

"The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice." - Proverbs 12:15