23-years-young

The title may not make sense.

But tomorrow is my birthday and I don't really like when people say "__-years-old" when talking about peoples ages. Not a big fan of the word 'old' in general. You should of seen me when I turned 21 and I thought it was the end of my world. Joel likes to laugh at the fact that at 22, I'm already talking about the fact in a few years I'll be 30. 

Usually I dread birthdays. I don't like getting older. I would miss the good old days when I was a kid who watched cartoons on television, played games outside with my brothers and sister and whose  only worry in the world was whether mom would give me a dollar for a soda at school. Truthfully, I always dreaded getting older because I always hated taking risks and doing things to further my life.

I let my insecurities get in the way of growth and so every year on my birthday, I'd look back at the previous year and think of the time I wasted. While I'm most certainly going to reflect this year (what I did right, what I did wrong), I'm going to focus less on the lack of growth this year (because I felt I did grow) and focus more on what I can do this year.

This year has been very good to me. Evidence?

1. I finally entered into college. I did that last fall, right after my last birthday. 

2. Gained some new friends, lost some old friends. Basically I made the big decision that some people weren't really my friends, despite what they told me. They were really bringing me down and making it harder for me to grow personally. In addition, I added some awesome people. Joel increasingly became my best friend and I'm thankful for that.

3. I turned some bad situations into good situations. My mother and I got into a fight that would cost us three months apart from one another. In that time, I realized that loved ones were worth more than silly fights. I also forgave a family member despite the fact they continue to trash me and my loved ones, which lifted a heavy burden and helped me to move on from the situation while still loving them.

4. Worked on my future. College was definitely a part of that. But I spent many months thinking about my future and where I wanted to be in 5-years, 10-years, and so on. I didn't really plan much for the future in the past because I didn't really believe I could follow through with anything. Things change....

5. I became a Christian. Found a church, got baptized, began reading through the Bible daily, and I can say I finally found a taste of the relationship with God that my grandparents had before their death--something I longed for.

Today, I'm 22-years-young.

Tomorrow I'll be 23-years-old. Yes, I said it the right way this time. I'll be another year older and this year will surely be filled with my share of up's and down's. But I look forward to this year and I don't dread it at all. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11